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BITHLO, FLORIDA – A 34-year-old Earth man was found dead today, buried beneath a smothering hoard of plastic wrappers from tens of thousands of Fizzy Cakes. The victim, Ray Earl Raymond, apparently ate the snack cakes almost exclusively – and fed them to his massively obese and now diabetic corgis. It appears Raymond tripped and…
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SAN ANGELES, EARTH – Money cut from the Martian terraforming subsidy would instead be used to vaccinate children of poverty throughout the Stellar Consortium. That’s according to Edwin Blades, an Earth representative on the Consortium Council who chairs the finance committee. He spoke in response to accusations by Martian representative Rafael Santiago that the council…
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VALSHO, ANTIMONE – Yantos Gazz, chief of security for the Lucky Knuckle Casino, is offering a bounty of 25,000 credits for each suspect captured – dead or alive – in connection with a heist at the casino earlier this week. Anyone interested in pursuing a mercenary contract with the casino is urged to contact Gazz…
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ARMSTRONG DOME, LUNA – A. Mopman, an avant garde artist born and raised on Luna, wants to give Earthers a show during the total lunar eclipse in July 2651. “I want to create something never seen before; something unlikely to be seen again,” Mopman told an audience at the Aldrin Museum of Modern Art during…
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